Some Random Opening Sentences to Stories I Will Probably Never Write

Wingate opened up his stachel and let the pungent vapors contained therein waft slowly across the room and into the waiting nostrils of Mrs. Teasdale and Frau Beckenridge.

Cletus scratched at the base of his medulla and frowned slightly. It seemed like the water was rising around his ankles, but he wasn’t quite sure. Suddenly, he had a taste for pudding.

“Desist!” shouted the angry vicar at the milling throng. “Hasn’t this boy had ENOUGH?!”
Captain Enderberry shifted slightly and pulled nervously at his mustache. “We didn’t mean any harm, sir,” he mumbled. “It’s just that you don’t normally get a chance to see that much hair in one place…” his voice trailed off as he clumsily dropped the pruning device into the ravine.

Tess smiled to herself and leaned back in her seat. First class! She thought excitedly. There was just something…opulent about travelling so luxuriously on a train bound for Paris. She giggled. Nothing could break her mood, now, nothing! Except…she frowned slightly as she remembered the boy with the ham sandwich. There was something about him…where had she seen that bulge before?

Stanley realized that the hounds were gaining on him. He struggled to increase the speed of his frenzied running; if only he could make it to a clearing he might have a chance. But there was nothing but dense jungle as far as he could see. Damn, where were Professor Russell and the Machete Seven when you needed them?