Monday, December 23, 2002

Of Beatles, Digitalis, and Detached Italians



There's nothing we like better here at OLPM than bad English translations (except, of course, ice cream and blowjobs, but stay with me for the sake of the piece). With that in mind, I was dicking around on the web looking for rare Beatles crap, and came across a review of the Beatles compilation "1" in Italian. Using Google's handy "translate this page" feature, I was delighted to read the following (my comments in parentheses):

"We are sincere (Who isn't? Nice opening). Often sure CD are acquired for the graphical garment and the substantial booklets. If they are rintracciabili pure in disc, the result improves because the dimensions increase (not everything improves because the dimensions increase. Check out my sister-in-law for proof). And then, if still conserved your record player, you give the lussuosa confection of " Beatles 1 " in vinile, rich of a manifesto where you will be able lustrarvi the various eyes with the wonderful ones cover originates them of " fab four ". Between these, they detach those Italians (Ouch! Did anyone consult the Italians on this?), to our modest judgment beautifulst and searched in absolute.
Sure: who possesses originates them to it singles of the Beatles manifactures to you from the Carish of Milan is indeed fortunate. The sounds - checché the lovers of the digitalis (apparently the Italian CD is packaged with a hearty supply of medicinal rub) say some them - are compact, moving, shining in their garment "mono". And the places setting some, boys, a true one sballo in the colors and the solutions. To the yield of the accounts they surpass for beauty and variety - at least until " Yellow Submarine " - those realized in other countries. Therefore one of the large ones libidini that they justify the purchase of "Beatles 1" consists in confronting various the confection beatlesiane for the single ones publishes to you."

OK, I've got a soft spot in my head for this kind of semi-sensical crap, I admit. But this one's good; I'm glad Google has such a wonderful feature that will allow us to laugh at the work of others for a long time to come...

BTW, later on in the piece, the translator posits "Love Me Do" as "Love Me I Give", which sounds curiously Onanistic. Oh, well, happy holidays!