Trains
"Trains," said the man, staring off into the distance. "I like trains."
Josh looked around to see who the dishevled, dirty, crazy looking bum in the ratty overcoat with the stringy unwashed hair was talking to. Fear began to knaw at him as he realized that the bum was talking to him. Or at least he was the only one around to be the recipient of the pearls of wisdom being cast out before him. "Um," he countered eloquently, "uh...trains?"
The bum seemed to be staring at a point far away from either of them, but seemed to take Josh's reply as a stimulus for further talking. "The mighty sinews of our nation's railway system fill me with awe and wonder. 'Whoosh!' go the trains, as they speed off into the night. 'Whoosh!" goes my heart as they speed away at 1/5 the speed of sound! My heart swoons as my mind rides with them. I ride! I ride!"
Josh was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He checked his watch with elaborate carefulness. "Is that the time? Wow, speaking of trains, I've gotta catch mine. Have a nice..."
The bum snapped his head around and seemed to notice Josh for the first time. "What train are you on?"
"Uh, this one over here. Goodb..."
"Which one?" The bum snarled with growing intensity. "The Southwest Chief?"
Josh began to get nervous. "Uh, yes, I've got to go..."
The bum relaxed and pulled a conductor's cap out of his coat, popping it onto his head. "Sounds good. Let's go. I've got to get her going in about 15 minutes..."
